I got really sad one day at home which sounds pretty sad I guess lol. So I decided to write and I just started writing in my notes on my iPhone. I'm not really sure what it is whether it's a poem or a story.
I started writing about a girl and a boy who were having a breakup. So cliche and 21 right? I cried like such a baby while writing this too. Watch out those feelings can creep up on you out of nowhere.After this (what can clearly be found below) I started writing more about the girl. I thought why not just write like this not giving her a name, or description of a physical appearance. Just because I don't describe her doesn't mean that the girl is less real than any character in a story. To me it makes her more real. The girl turned into something I wanted to be relateable to any girl/woman of any age.So I figured why not have fun with it and wrote more poems/story thingies in which the central character is the girl. Then it tuned into a folder named the girl in my phone with over 10 different notes. So I've decided to post it up here on my blog because why the fuck not
She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. A hand that didn't belong to her any longer. She used her left hand to pull his chin down. She waited for minutes until he lowered his gaze and could look her in her eyes. She stared up into his eyes afraid to utter the words that would end them. He didn't look like the happy boy he used to be anymore and she hated that she was the reason. She opened her mouth to speak but the words didn't want to leave her lips. So she took another breath and another. The boy just stared down at the girl unaware of what was going on until he heard the whisper
"I think we're over"
His eyes widened in shock and his hand got sweaty. He was scared.
"I'm not enough for you and you can never love me"
He wanted to shake his head as soon as she said it. To reassure her that they had something special. That in a few years they would be happily married with children but it would be a lie. He liked and cherished her but he could never love her. He could never allow himself to.
So he stood there resembling an impenetrable wall. Physically manifesting into the wall that had always been between them.
"I'm sorry that I'm not enough for you" she said
He wanted to speak up but his throat was clogged. The words were just stuck, lost somewhere along with his heart.
"I'll love you forever but you can never love me"she said
It was true in months he could forget about her. He could forget her without a glance back and he would be okay. He knew she would be hurting the whole time while he was okay enjoying his life.
"I'm okay" she said with a smile still holding his chin
He could see the tears forming in her eyes. He wanted to wipe them away.
"I'll be okay"she said but this time her voice broke betraying her lie.
He still stood there silent just watching. Just watching girl he spent months with cry until they turned into sobs. The kind of gut wrenching sobs that were painful.
"I'm sorry" was all he could say over and over again. As if the sorry could make it any better. He grabbed her close to him and hugged her. Letting her tears soak his shirt. Tears forming in his eyes too because he knew they had reached the end and he had been too selfish to continue on with her. He had been too selfish holding back his heart. So they stood there in the dimly lit park both crying, mourning the loss of each other just because the boy didn't have enough courage.
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